Most children feel a little jittery and nervous about the first day of school, especially if they're new. Although it's normal to experience some anxiety about making new friends or getting homework done, the average child eventually adjusts and develops a routine. For kids with ADHD, however, it's quite a different story. Because of the academic and social problems caused by their symptoms, they cannot seem to get used to the school routine and may even refuse to attend school in extreme cases. School refusal - a behavior that describes the refusal to attend school - is quite common among kids with ADHD.
Symptoms of school refusal
Kids who refuse to go to school make daily excuses to stay home, usually by complaining that they feel too sick. They complain about headaches, nausea, diarrhea, and other similar symptoms. If they are allowed to stay home, the symptoms magically disappear, and resurface the following morning. In extreme instances, children with school refusal throw tantrums or exhibit defiant behavior.
Reasons behind school refusal
The first step to helping your child overcome school refusal is to find out what's causing it in the first place. There are many reasons behind school refusal; below are the most common ones:
Separation anxiety
Separation anxiety or the fear of being away from parents may be caused by a traumatizing separation, such as a parent or child being confined in a hospital. Sometimes, it is also due to fear that something bad might happen to the parent or a fear that the child might be abandoned at school. Separation anxiety is more likely to happen in preschool-aged children.
Problems at school
Problems like bullying, not getting along with the teacher, or not having friends are the most likely reasons behind an ADHD child's school refusal. Studies show that kids with ADHD are more likely to get bullied than those without. Because of their symptoms, they also have difficulty getting along with kids their age. Their hyperactivity and impulsivity may also provoke the irritation of the teacher, who expects children to stay seated and quiet during class hours.
Jealousy
Sometimes, school refusal is due to jealousy if there is a new sibling in the house. The child might think that his or her sibling is doing all sorts of fun things at home while he or she is at school.
Aside from real illness or the return from vacation, there are other instances when school avoidance is perfectly natural. For instance, when a child begins kindergarten or moves from middle school into high school, he or she is bound to feel nervous about the changes. But when none of these instances are present and your child still resists going to school, it's time to seek professional help.
Overcoming school refusal
It's important that a child with school refusal get used to being at school. The longer your child stays away from school, the harder it will be for him or her to overcome any anxieties about school. Sometimes, treating the ADHD symptoms through various approaches is enough to alleviate school refusal. But in most cases, school anxiety is caused by reasons beyond ADHD. Talk to your child and try to figure out what's causing this behavior; enlist the help of the doctor or guidance counselor if needed. Here are other things you can try:
- Listen to your child when he talks about his fears and feelings. Be understanding, no matter how trivial these fears might sound; otherwise, your child will not tell you if he or she is worried.
- Let your child feel a sense of control. Ask him what he thinks he can do to overcome the problem.
- Always pick your child up at the same time after school. Make arrangements if you will be unavoidably late in doing so.
- Encourage your child to join extra-curricular activities or develop hobbies that will boost his self-esteem and confidence.
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